Ottawa Impact re-election

There are many reasons to hate election season — obfuscation, half-truths, outright lies, avoidance of issues, and particularly tribalism.

Speaking of tribalism, a candidate knows he is in deep trouble when his tribe decides to shed its colors and symbols. Kind of like sports fans who, when their team has struggled for a decade, forego painting their faces with team colors and instead wear paper bags of embarrassment.

Have you seen the county commissioner election signs in Ottawa County this go around? Have you noticed the incumbents seeking re-election no longer identify themselves as members of Ottawa Impact? They, or Ottawa Impact as a whole, no longer wish to identify themselves with that failed faction.

Who can blame them for deserting a sinking ship?

The failings of Ottawa Impact need not be revisited here. They have been documented ad nauseam for the past year and a half, but not undeservedly. Yet the informed will know who and what they are. At least we hope so.

If there is any public forum for country commissioner wannabes, I hope one question is asked: “Why are you no longer publicly associating yourself with Ottawa Impact?” Let’s hear the incumbents wriggle their way out of that question.

Road repair and ‘zippers’

Years ago, I was returning from a camping trip in Northern Michigan. My 25-year-old RV pulled my modified trailer that hauled a Sunfish sailboat and a couple of kayaks. I made decent progress until I reached the Muskegon area. Then a construction zone appeared, and the trek became a long, slow trod.

I drove in the right lane because I had been driving in the right lane. No need to set a speed record when you’re maneuvering a ’96 dinosaur pulling a trailer. Then the “MERGE LEFT” signs appeared.

I started looking for an opening, but with the cumbersome vehicle I had, no spot was appearing. I maintained my relative position for over half a mile. The highway traffic was moving about 20 mph.

I continued searching for an entry point into the left lane, but no one was allowing me in. What to do?

We’ve all been in a similar position. We want to merge, but many who already merged are reluctant to offer us a space. Their thinking goes: “I and everyone else got over and waited in the slower lane as we should have. Now you want to jump ahead of us after we did our due diligence? I don’t think so.”

You can’t really blame them.

I did what a reasonable, responsible, thoughtful person would do. I held my relative spot indicating I wasn’t trying to take advantage of anyone.

Then I saw police lights in my mirror. “Now what?” I wondered.

The officer was polite and respectful. He asked why I was driving so slowly in the right lane. I told him what I indicated above — I was trying to be respectful and considerate to drivers in the left lane.

“That’s not what you should do,” he replied. “You’re obstructing traffic.”

I felt indignant, almost insulted.

“Thinking of others is the wrong thing to do?”

“In this case, yes,” he answered. “Use the lanes like a zipper. Go as far forward as you can and take turns when one lane ends.” He did not cite me, but I thought he was nuts.

This occurred several years ago, but it recently came to mind again. While driving, I heard a radio segment concerning the “zipper” procedure. When lanes merge, you’ll be tempted to move over as quickly as possible to secure a spot in the “thru” lane. Don’t! Go as far as you can in either lane and take turns merging with cars already in the “thru” lane. That’s the way it’s supposed to be done.

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I don’t make this suggestion just because one cop told me to do so. I make it because researchers learned traffic travels forty percent quicker when the zipper method is employed.

Remember, it’s summer in Michigan and roads are being fixed everywhere. If you haven’t faced the situation yet, you’ll likely face it soon.

When you find yourself in the situation described, follow my advice. If a driver in the “thru” lane takes offense and gives you a dirty look or the finger, or starts cussing you out, give him a copy of this column which you should readily keep in your glove compartment. Hopefully, the logic should help your cause.

— Community Columnist Ray Buursma is a resident of Holland. Contact him at writetoraybuursma@gmail.com.